File:Frances (Appleton) Longfellow to Matilda Lieber, 16 November 1848 (9b63acd0-6d30-4a75-a50d-a8b2b0e3c53d).jpg

Manuscript letter

Archives Number: 1011/002.001-018#036

Cambridge Nov 16th 1848.
Your husband’s letter to Henry, reminded me forcibly dearest Matilda, as how indeed can I forget, the distance that separates us, & that I should have attempted before now to tell you of my sorrow, & not leave you troubled by uncertain rumours. I should have done so, but I had much kind sympathy to reply to, & shrank from taking up my pen more than I could help. I have also been much occupied by Mary & her children who have only just left me. They sailed in the Bermuda steamer from N. York on the 13th with my brother Tom, & are now, I trust, under milder skies than ours. They had all gained much in looks for their summer here, but Mary is still far from strong, & I hope will not long remain in that debilitating climate. She left much love for you, & wished to write, but was so [p. 2] taken up with visiting, shopping &c that she had neither time nor vigour left for anything else.
Dear Matilda – you have been called to bear a grief similar to mine, & know its ceaseless pain & unutterable bitterness, - the terrible hunger of the heart which can never be appeased in this life, & the ever-present sense of loss stabbing us from every familiar object. It is therefore a comfort to me to speak to you, though I grieve to re-open your own wounds. If I do so, it is to offer you afresh my deepest sympathy, for now I have entered within the sanctuary of a mother’s anguish I can feel for all sufferers as never before.
This blow came like a thunder clap in a clear sky – our happiness had been so unshaken that I often thought, with a secret terror – ‘This is not natural [p. 3] in human destiny – what will first shatter it?, but this summer my children were all in such beautiful health, that no fear came very near to me. My darling baby was especially well, tho’ teething, & I thank God I have the lovely memory of her those last sunny months – so joyous, ever dancing & singing with glee, running to us with hands full of flowers. She was very fond of them, & I trust is now rejoicing in those of Paradise. We were all together (my sister & her children, ourselves, & Tom) in a grand old house near Pittsfield, through the vacation, after which we returned home, & either the change or the inevitable trial of teething brought on dysentery & death. We feel it to be a blessed thing to have a child in heaven, forever sheltered from such sorrows as this, & unfolding its powers in the perpetual sunshine of perfect Love, & often I am happy in the thought that she [p. 4] is in the arms of Him who so loved little children upon earth, but then forever returns the inextinguishable longing for the visible existence which filled every hour of every day. So much of my life is gone never to return, & what is as sad, what remains loses much of its interest – for the shadow of distrust is thrown over everything. I have always striven not to put too much faith in the future of my children, but, unconsciously, I had in this one, being a girl perhaps, & now I do not venture to look upon my boys as mine. I feast upon their blooming faces as if looking my last upon them, & sometimes shrink from the future as a secret enemy I have not courage to face, instead of looking towards it as a welcome friend to ripen & perfect their natures. I trust this morbidness will leave us – but it now overshadows us heavily. You cannot have a better proof of my love, dear Matilda, than this free unveiling of my heart, but I know you can feel with me & it is a relief to lean upon your bosom
[p. 1 cross] Henry wished me to thank you husband for his letter which he cannot now answer – but I felt it most kind to write to you. I do thank him however warmly for his heartfelt sympathy.

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