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[Upbeat Music]
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Hey and welcome, Psych2Go community!
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Thank you for all the love and support
you’ve given us. Your ongoing support
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and desire to assist others with Psychology is what helps us continue delivering
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quality content tailored just for you!
Now, let’s get into this week’s topic.
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Now, let’s get into this week’s topic.
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Love. Partnership. “Soul Mate” –
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So many of us spend a good chunk of our lives looking
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for “The One.” But what happens when
we actually find someone? How do we
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know if they’re the person who is right
to spend the rest of our lives with? Or
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even if starting a relationship
with them is the right choice?
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While compatibility is no guarantee
of longevity, studies show that it
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is directly related to the quality and
satisfaction of our relationships. Simply put,
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the more compatible you and your partner are;
the happier you’re likely to be with them.
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Everybody has their own ideas about what qualities and traits their dream partner should have,
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but rarely do we ever find someone who’s a
perfect match. Instead, we learn to compromise
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where we can and grow to love people in spite
of their flaws and imperfections. However,
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it can be hard to differentiate normal
differences from incompatibility.
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So if you’re wondering whether or not you
and your significant other are incompatible,
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here are 7 telltale signs that you
probably aren’t right for each other:
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ONE.
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You Don’t Get Each Other
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Right from the get go, this can tell you
a great deal about how good of a match you
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and your partner make. If you have a hard time
understanding how they’re feeling, what they’re
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thinking, or what they need, then they might
not be the one for you – and vice versa. It is
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better to be with someone you can be in sync
with; someone who pick up and understand your
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non-verbal cues, discern the tone of your voice,
and ‘get’ what you try to tell them. Otherwise,
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miscommunication and misunderstandings
can pile up in your relationship.
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TWO. You’re Too Different from Each Other
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While it’s technically true that opposites do
attract, every solid, healthy couple should
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share at least a few similarities with their
partner. This doesn’t mean having to like
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*all* the same music or movies that they do, or
even sharing the same hobbies as them. In fact,
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it can even be refreshing to be in a
relationship with someone so radically
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different from yourself. Sadly, though,
the excitement won’t last forever. If the
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similarities are too scarce or non-existent,
once the “new and shiny” effect wears off,
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you’re both left with someone who doesn’t
share the same humor, interests, values,
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ideals, or principles, making it difficult to
relate to one another in any meaningful way.
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THREE. You Try to *Change* Each
Other, not Grow and Learn Together
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The hallmark of any strong, healthy relationship
is having a partner who gives you the drive and
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motivation to change for the better. In fact,
that’s the point – it must be something you want
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for yourself – your idea, not theirs alone.
Despite your partner expressing irritation
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or dissatisfaction with the current you, it is
generally ineffective and not sustainable if you
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are forcing change on yourself *solely* because
“they want it” and you don’t – you have to want
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it for you. This goes for many things, whether
it’s the way you dress, speak, or who you hang out
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with; only you have the right to decide who you
want to be. If you don’t feel comfortable showing
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your true colours to your significant other, even
in a private setting, this is a definite red flag.
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FOUR. There is Constant or Highly Frequent Arguing
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It’s perfectly normal and healthy to disagree with
your partner about something from time to time,
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especially if it’s over something that’s important
to the two of you – we didn’t choose this person
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so we could be with a clone of ourselves. The
disagreements become a problem; however, when
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the arguing is constant and over even the tiniest
of things. Even unhealthier is fighting dirty –
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shouting, name calling, humiliating each other,
holding grudges, and emotional blackmail. Being in
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a relationship with a partner who tends to bring
out mostly the ugliest side of you is never good.
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FIVE. You Attain Peace by
Avoiding All the Problems
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It’s all about moderation - while constant
fighting is obviously not ideal, it’s also
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not good for a couple to never disagree about
anything. You need to be honest and communicate
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openly with one another about how you feel, even
if it is not in agreement with the other person.
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Constant pretending everything is okay or blind
agreement to the wants of the other person does
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not make the relationship stronger, and may in
fact result in a catastrophic blow-up later.
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Conflict can be a positive, bond-building event
if it can be given and taken constructively.
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It then can lead to personal growth
and a deeper mutual understanding.
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SIX. Your Socializing is
Isolated from Everyone Else
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Do you find that when you and your partner go
out, it is nearly always only with each other – no
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friends, parties, or group hangouts? Do you never
spend any time with their friends – have you even
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met their friends? Is their family still a group
of mystery people you’ve never been introduced to,
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even though you’ve been together for a
while? If you answered yes to any of these,
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this could be a potential problem. It’s
important that you spend time with your
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partner’s loved ones and get to know them better.
Couples who make the effort to be close with the
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other important people in their partner’s lives
tend to have longer and happier relationships.
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SEVEN. You’re Not Attracted to Them
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Lastly but most importantly, even when
everything seems perfect on paper,
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if you don’t have any romance or chemistry,
it’s simply not going to work. Without even
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an inkling of those factors, you might have a Best
Friend, but not necessarily a Significant Other.
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The result is that you will naturally
be drawn to people you have that
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‘more than friends’ attraction to.
The Triarchic Theory of Love by Robert
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Sternberg even states that although intimacy
and commitment are present, without passion,
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the love you share will only be platonic, like
the love shared between your friends and family.
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In the end, there’s no such thing as a *perfect*
relationship. Everyone has doubts or disagreements
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at times with the person they love. A strong,
healthy relationship takes ongoing effort,
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dedication, and also time for it to grow.
What’s important is finding that someone who,
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to you, is worth that effort, dedication
and time. First impressions and initial
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choices do not seal your fate.
Learning to know and recognize
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compatibility versus incompatibility will
save you much heartbreak and possibly avoid
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more serious scarring. So take the
time to evaluate your relationship
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with these key points in mind and honestly
ask yourself – is my partner right for me?
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We hope you enjoyed the video, and learned
something new about yourself and others!
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Please like, share, give feedback or
comment below; let us know what you’d
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like to see next! Don’t forget to subscribe to
Psych2Go for more Psychology content! As always,
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Thank you for watching and taking this
short psychology learning journey with us.
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Video by Psych2go.
